Monkey meal

The Star‘s Corey Mintz feeds Story Book Farm residents.

The monkeys’ natural homes are in the wildernesses of South America, Africa and Asia. But someone had the genius idea to capture, breed and sell them as pets, lab animals and performers.

Dear parent: if you are purchasing a Japanese macaque as a Christmas present for your child, you might as well get them a handgun with a faulty firing pin. Highly intelligent wild animals with teeth like broken glass, they are no more likely to sit quietly at the foot of your sofa than a labradoodle is to file your income taxes on time.

Over their average lifespan of 40 years, monkeys will become uncontrollable, dangerous or simply expendable. Animals bred in captivity are unable to survive in the wild. Some are euthanized. Some end up the property of roadside zoos, where families on their way to the cottage pay two bits a gander.

The lucky ones find a home at Story Book Farm.

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